I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
