I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize