Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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