2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
