A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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