So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
