I CAN MOONWALK!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
