I must be too annoying 4 u.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
