just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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