i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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