She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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