Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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