dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
