it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
