Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
