FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
