he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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