Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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