he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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