You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize