How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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