I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
