The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
