why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
