she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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