well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
