he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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