I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
