No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
