Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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