I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
