Sponge bath it is.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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