carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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