I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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