It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
