Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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