I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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