3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
