Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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