no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
