I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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