I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
