just come out here and I will go home with you...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm always down for nudity.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
