I just cut my nipple shaving
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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