i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
