I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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