You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
