dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize