lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
