Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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