; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize