She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
