I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
