I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
