fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
