His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
