hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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