i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
