Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize