chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
