He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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