he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
