if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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