My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
